Me, at my character whom I created, whose dialogues I write, whose actions I decide, whose development and personality are completely under my control: Why are you such a bitch
A concept: my book is written, it’s loved by millions and gets optioned for a movie. The actors look like my characters, the representation flawless and the storyline isn’t butchered and the acting isn’t awful. I become best friends with the actors and my books/movies become classics and are remembered throughout the ages without becoming a Joke™ to viewers/readers
I’d be content with everything before the first comma. The rest is bonus.